New Year Newsletter

Noel and Nelly Nockembac had little of New Year cheer as they warmed their hands on a feeble…

By paulamcc
3 mins read
02 Jan 2014

New Year Newsletter

Noel and Nelly Nockembac had little of New Year cheer as they warmed their hands on a feeble flame in their temporary accommodation. It had been an unfortunate and unforeseeable train of events that had caused their misfortune. It had started when their next door neighbour had received a Christmas gift of a metal detector from his wife. As you may guess from his nickname, ‘Shudavegone’ Sullivan was terribly short-sighted. He and wife Susie were not enjoying the warmest of matrimonial relations and her design was that the metal detector would lead her myopic husband onto the nearby railway track – hopefully in front of the Dublin express. Instead it led him along the track of his neighbour’s oil line. Convinced that he had detected a trove of Viking gold, ‘Shudavegone’ set about uncovering the treasure with his trusty spade. Whilst he had little joy in uncovering treasure, he was singularly successful in severing the Nocembacs’ oil pipeline – allowing the entire contents of their oil tank to seep into the subsoil and under the founds of their house. Such was the pollution that the Nockembacs had to vacate their home on Christmas Day.

This was the last straw for Susie Sullivan. Earlier that day Shudavegone’s pet ferret, (the salesman had taken advantage of his poor eyesight and told him it was a miniature Jack Russell) had defecated yet again in Susie’s Prada shoe. Balanced precariously on the unsoiled shoe Susie set about Shudavegone with the other. Shudavegone fled to his garden shed where he steadied his nerves with a some brandy that he kept there for ‘marital’ emergencies. When the coast was clear, he decided he would drive to the hostel to offer his apology to the Nockembacs but somewhat peckish on the way, Shudavegone decided to stop for a fish supper at a mobile chippy. The mobile chippy turned out to be a police breathalyser van so now he was waiting on a solicitor in his police cell.

Susie did not fare much better. In a terrible temper she pursued the fleeing husband in her prized Mini with only one Prada on. Unfortunately the ferret’s faecal deposit on her unshod stocking made her foot slip from accelerator on to the brake and she was rear ended by a tailgating lorry driver.

However help was at hand. Paul Lenehan from Campbell & Haughey Solicitors attended Shudavegone’s PACE interview. Paul secured his release and later reduced his driving ban with an eloquent plea and a place on the drink/driving rehabilitation course. Having told Paul of the plight of the Nockembacs, Clen Mackenzie intervened and in no time at all the Nockembacs were in a hotel courtesy of the insurers of Shudavegone; awaiting a handsome compensation package. Paul Haughey secured a replacement car for Susie and Gill McAreavey negotiated a settlement for her injury. Noel Nockembac’s elderly uncle died leaving Noel his farm. Martin Campbell completed the sizeable estate with Noel as sole beneficiary. He invested in a pub, purchased by Keith Hamilton and Martin Campbell successfully completed the licensing application. The pub, appropriately called ‘Knock them back at the Nockembacs’ was a complete success. There was no way back however for the Sullivans but the divorce was conducted by Campbell & Haughey with sensitivity. Shudavegone got custody of the ferret and Susie her second shoe – cleaned at his expense. All matters resolved so amicably that the Nockembacs and Sullivans are planning a New Year’s Reunion next year at the pub – the only proviso is that the ferret remains at home.

If you are having New Year blues as a result of legal problems, why not let our experts help?

Happy New Year to all our clients.

New Year Newsletter - Campbell and Haughey Solicitors, Lurgan

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